broom clean.

sweeping and smudging our way to new beginnings.

As for the apartment itself, it had a weird feeling of gratitude, like a dog who has finally been adopted by owners it has a good feeling about.

But there’s something else too, some presence. Maybe hers. At least that’s how it feels as long as the owls are still hanging out in our kitchen. She’s a kindly spirit, I think, but she has to go. There are too many people living in our apartment.”

- Lauren Elkin, Scaffolding

Real estate norms dictate that an apartment should be surrendered by tenants (or homeowners) in broom-clean condition. Allow me to complain explain: Defined loosely, broom clean means that an apartment should be returned to its lord free of trash and other belongings and that it should be swept clear—whether by broom or another means—of visible dirt and crumbs. This feels sensible enough. The tenants have just completed the onerous task of moving their earthly possessions out of a place, it stands to reason that a cursory clean of what they leave behind should suffice. Once surrendered, however, the lord of the manor has no obligation to follow up on this extremely low cleaning bar with any additional measures. Leases and custom do not dictate the precise state of an apartment’s oven or stovetop beyond working, for instance. Greasy grime built up on the kitchen baseboards? Who could be bothered? Windows so dirty you can’t see out of them? Sounds like a personal problem. Tub not scrubbed? Well! Aren’t you a fussy one for noticing.

I know it’s my deeply fringe opinion that a landlord should be responsible for the upkeep and general stewardship of their property, still, it seems both logical and fair that a tenant moving into an apartment for the first time should be able to expect it to be reasonably clean, which is to say, very.

This not being the norm, the second viewing of an apartment—which in New York City anyway, generally occurs after a lease is already signed—is usually a sobering one. Gone are the rose colored glasses necessary to propel you forward in the relentless search for a place to call home. They’re replaced by a lens of realism unblinking in its observation of cold hard facts.