I’m not a PTA mom.
I was class president for a year in high school and a part of student government for every other year besides that, but somewhere along the route to parenthood I internalized a message that over-involvement in the governance of my kids’ school wasn’t only financially implausible as a wage-earning parent, but also, somehow, unfeminist. I made an only partially subconscious decision that I wouldn’t and couldn’t sacrifice any more than the average dad of elementary aged kids in service of my kids’ public education.
Typing that out in a public forum, I can see what an extraordinarily low bar I set for myself; as if comparing myself to the least involved, most privileged among us could ever be a sign of my own liberation. But more than that, I’m ashamed to admit, I realize that I wanted to see myself as different from the PTA moms; as someone with more pressing concerns than running a bake sale or collecting donations for the school fundraiser.
Over the weekend I began reading
truly excellent new book, The Right Kind of White and was reminded of the t-shirt that my mom wore through much of my elementary school years, and also plastered onto the bumper of our Plymouth Voyager:It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber.
I remember the day in first grade when she wore the t-shirt to work behind the bake sale table at my brand-new school. I was so proud of her, my beautiful mom putting brownies in the hands of people actively voting against funding for our public school.
Anyway. I’ve decided to run for office. I’m pledging to show up and try to fix things and to make an effort to be the stupid change I want to see in what truly feels like a godforsaken world.
I cast a blank ballot in the presidential primary this morning, which I’ve been told all day is giving up on democracy and allowing for a Trump presidency. Misunderstandings of how primary elections and nominations work aside, I understand the worry. I can’t say with certainty what kind of vote I’ll cast when it comes time for the general election, but I am hoping that with help from folks reading we can raise money for down-ballot races with extremely good chances for making meaningful change.
One bake sale and one door-knocking campaign at a time, I’m putting my faith in showing up.
More on all that, soon.
I always had some stigma about PTA moms as just, like, people with absolutely nothing else going on except for their kids. Now I am in leadership roles in my kids’ school’s parent-group fundraising committee and volunteer committee. It’s a not-insignificant amount of work and, as someone working a very stressful full-time job, I sometimes resent it all. I resent that we all “have to” do this (ie that our social system relies on our deep love for our children to make the undertaking of all this work the less painful option). But I can say that Zoom, at least, helps a lot. Our committee meetings are all at 8pm now, and require no childcare logistics; and I often take them on my headphones while I fold laundry or tidy up the kitchen. Many of the other parents I see on camera do the same. PTA involvement might be the one thing on earth that actually is made better by Zoom.
Mostly, though, I reached an age where I realized: the problems we’re facing are too big to only be solved by some distant hypothetical “people with nothing else going on.” They need to be solved by “us,” however unfair that may be. And I want my children to see me out there, doing what I can to solve whatever problems there are. For them, for the kids down the street, for everybody.
My grandmother always used to say, “If you want something done, give it to a busy person.” Here’s to getting things done.
This is such an interesting perspective. I'm our PTA president at my child's Title 1 school and have quite honestly bristled at some anti PTA sentiments you've shared in past comments, links etc. I appreciate this reflection as it helps me understand the root of that sentiment. Everyone on our PTA works full time jobs outside our homes and also does tons of unpaid work that pays for 30K in classroom supplies, provides afterschool tutoring for students who need support, runs language literacy programs for students and families, and tons of fun community building stuff too. We are the only Title 1 school in our district, in a state that doesn't fund education well and bc of our PTA we don't have to ask families for financial contributions for anything - field trips, school supplies, etc. The work we do doesn't really benefit our own kids at all (my kids are super privileged and doesn't need any help. My PTA basically takes me away from them in service of other people's kids. I hope they learn from me like I learned from my mom.)
I am the daughter of a 40 yr career public school teacher (and her teachers union president for many years!) I am also trained and work in public health and so it's always been clear to me that public education is the only safety net this country has, and also that education is the biggest driver of individual health and community well-being and the ONLY path we have towards a more just society. This link is so clear to me (why were enslaved people prevented from learning to read? Why is the right wing movement on a 50 year project to dismantle public education, from segregation into vouchers into charter schools into homeschool? Why was school integration a central tenet of the civil rights movement? Why did Nikole Hannah Jones start out as an education reporter? Why is Moms 4 Liberty running for school board across the country? Why is level of education so closely tied to life expectancy?) I've often wondered why some of my local peer parents spend time on loud online advocacy (facebook fighting basically) against Moms4Liberty across the country instead of helping their school PTA.
I don't have the skills to be a teacher but I can't think of any more valuable way to spend my money and time than supporting my local schools. Good luck with your run! (In my experience you are conscripted into school service rather than running in a competitive campaign where tons of people are interesting in doing unpaid non glamorous work lol.)